the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
