if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
