Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it glows. i had to have it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
