Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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