There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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