My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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