Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Even my vagina gasped.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
