I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
