Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize