I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
