he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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