Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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