Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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