I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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