OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
