okay pat passed out under dana's car
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
