Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
