TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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