addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
