Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
