when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
operation have a gay friend backfired
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i came on her dog
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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