is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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