Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
