...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
