she looked like the before picture.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
