if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize