i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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