So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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