I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
