Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so let's talk penis.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
