Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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