I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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