hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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