I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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