Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just had sex on a roof
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
