i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
