in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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