hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
