The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.