I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.