Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
