I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
