Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize