so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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