My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
