how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Randomize