im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
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I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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