Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
