I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
