Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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