I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
