I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
did i walk over a car last night?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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