u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
