you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize