it was like his penis was on wheels.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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