the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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