So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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