Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
