Swine flu. Run for my life!
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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