six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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