I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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